In an Absolut world all your SPAM would be true.

Thrillist's spamalicious contest

Despite Spam’s ultimate nuisance, the best of it transcends into brilliant seduction – making you spend long, sweet milliseconds thinking, “Damn, I wish this wasn’t a bald-faced fraud” before cursing Mr. “Tuxedo C. Monstrosity” for clogging your inbox with impossible dreams.

But what if the dreams weren’t impossible?

What if Spam’s gloriously ham-fisted promises could be yours, from the bloated bank account to the bulging nethers?

Enter Thrillist’s Absolut World Sweepstakes, and you could win the fabulous prizes some shadowy huckster in a broadband-enabled trailer pledged to deliver, but never did.

 

How it works

You submit your most extraordinary pieces of Spam, in any of the categories to the left. We’ll post the best, selected through a medley of criteria:

• Ludicrousness of subject line
• Boldness of claim
• Outlandishness of graphics
• Lyricism of wholly unrelated introductory verbiage
• Cleverness of “Spam handle”
• Heinousness of spelling
• Willingness of spammer to shame recipients

Check back regularly to vote on your favorites.

In the end, the best of the best will be presented, and the winners can claim their spoils. After which they’re free to flip their prizes for cash via “Win Sweet-Ass Prizes” emails sent to 1.8 million unsuspecting strangers.