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Most chefs obsess about things you couldn't give a damn about -- like regional seasonal vegetables, or just vegetables. For zealotry that will stir your soul and soil your apartment, try Fresh Meats.

A dangerous new player in NYC's underground gourmet scene, FM is a group of relentless carnophiles who provide dinner parties the absolute freshest meat possible. This involves bringing a soon-to-be-delicious animal to your apartment, then taking it through all stages of preparation, starting in your bathtub, and ending in your oven. That's right: you choose an easy-to-smuggle, live delicacy (chicken, duck, squab, rabbit, even a snake or frog), and FM will lead it to your tub and do-what-must-be-done. Once it's dead and bled out, they'll work with the meat in less horrifying ways (cleaning the carcass, rending the cuts, stewing it in a delicate béchamel sauce, etc) until it's ready for a glorious presentation to you and any guests who haven't defected to a PETA tofu roast.

Of course, you might develop a hankering for veal or other larger livestock (or lack a tub) -- in which case you can venture out to FM's Queens headquarters for dinner and, if you're up to it, give an assist. This might sound disturbing, but it's a great option, especially given your own twin obsessions: eating nothing but the freshest, and not finding stray beaks in your shower drain.

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Email FreshMeatsNYC@gmail.com to set up some freshness