Drinking: Two Bottle Wine Tote
$16.99 at BuiltNY.com
Also at Whole Foods, Zabar's, Astor Wines, and Sherry-Lehmann
Most wine totes only carry one lousy bottle, making for a tragically ineffectual BYOB dinner date. Recognizing the outrage this causes among hedonistic New Yorkers, Built NY created a neoprene "two bottle tote" that insulates twin 750mls and, just as importantly, keeps them from clanking -- a noise that prematurely announces to your lady just how much you intend for her to drink.

Gorging: Lenny's Delivery
16 W 23rd St, between 5th and 6th; 212.462.4433
Forsaking your couch for a park means giving up two things: televised bowling, and the ability to command strangers to bring you food. Fortunately, this sandwich shop now delivers to Madison Square Park's southwest corner. You'll have to walk a few feet, but it's worth it just to flaunt your hoagie sack before the grumpy idiots lined up for Shake Shack -- entertainment the Professional Bowler's Association can't touch.

The Rest: New York International Auto Show
Apr 14-23 at the Javitz Center: 11th Ave, between 34th and 39th
This year's auto show features the latest and greatest from Lexus, Lotus, Lamborghini and...Saturn. If you've only got time to drool on one car, make it the Bentley Continental GTC, a 551-horsepower convertible that tops out over 190mph -- the speed at which a pigeon turd can crater both your windshield and your skull.

The Rest: South Street Seaport Auditions
Tue Apr 18 at the Pier 17 Stage: Fulton and South Street
Round One 12pm-2:30pm, Round Two 5:30pm-7:30pm
Hit the Seaport's open call for street performers, and you can either try out for a weekend gig, or heckle hundreds of inept hopefuls. Tumblers, guitarists, contortionists, jugglers, etc, will all be vying for a coveted promotion from "panhandler" to "entertainer".

Gorging: Dressler
149 Broadway, between Bedford and Driggs; 718.384.6343
Opening Monday, this Williamsburg spot swings a fat pedigree, with owners and staff coming together from standouts like Dumont, Balthazar, Gramercy Tavern and The Red Cat. Our favorite dish off their seasonal American menu: Center Cut Pork Rib w/Fresh Bacon -- because it takes the formation of a culinary Voltron to figure out nothing goes with pork like more pork.

Extra: Thrillist Inexplicably Nominated for Webby Award
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