Now that summer's almost here, you can finally step outside the bar for a cigarette without courting pneumonia. Unfortunately, doing so means risking having some opportunist swipe your vacated table.

We came across a simple solution at East Village restaurant Crooked Tree: they provide "Gone Smoking" placards to set down when it's time to answer nicotine's wicked summons.

Since we're unafraid to poach a great idea, we've created our own sign. Cut this out and mark your territory with it, and you can putrefy your lungs without a care in the world.