Drinking: AYUDA 10th Anniversary

Next Friday, AYUDA (American Youth Understanding Diabetes Abroad) is hosting a 10th anniversary benefit. Silent auction highlights include tickets for the Daily Show and Colbert Report. More importantly, your donation covers 4hrs of top shelf open bar -- after which, foreign youth might have to be educated about your diabetes.

The Rest: The Pre-Sexual Agreement

Maybe you've seen it on TV: the Pre-Sexual Agreement, created by NYC entertainment attorney Ron Skoler to shield his famous clients from lawsuits, Inside Edition exposés, and career-shortening STDs. Because regular guys need protection too, we asked Mr. Skoler for permission to link to the PSA. Print it, ask her to sign, and watch her tear your presumptuousness into pieces.

Father's Day Buying: O'Neill's Burger of The Month Club

O'Neill's cobalt blue BOMC credit card gets dad one insane variant of their 1/2lb meatwich each month, plus a frothy pint (see the list of burgers w/pairings). If dad lives out of town and refuses to visit, redeem everything yourself -- because nothing goes better with ground beef, cheese, guac, and bacon than filial loathing.

Buying: Unfed's Boxers

Unfed's just expanded its T-shirt line, but their strongest offering's still their 100% pima cotton boxers -- which, being seamless, won't develop the dreaded crotch tears that turn regular underwear into fishnet.

Poetry: Robot Haiku Winners

We've picked five winners for last week's Kid Robot contest. Our favorite comes from Brian Sack:

Jesus, that's a great haiku.