Gorging: Rick's Cabaret Lunch
Mon-Fri, 11am-3pm
50 W 33rd St, between 5th and 6th; 212.372.0850
See the deal
If Rick's weren't an "adult steakhouse", their lunch deal would put them out of business: $10 gets you a Caesar salad, choice of entrée (fish, chicken, or legitimate meat -- either a 12oz Grilled Aged Sirloin or a 12oz NY Strip w/Shrimp), plus dessert. If you can manage to focus all your attention on cutting your meal into perfect bites, maybe you'll escape without dropping $200 on lap dances.

The Rest: High Times Comedy Festival
July 27-29 at Gotham Comedy Club
208 W 23rd St, between 7th and 8th
Reservations, 212.367.9000; showtimes, GothamComedyClub.com
Headlined by Marijuana-logues co-star Doug Benson, the three-night HTCF features 11 different stoner comics, all fiending for your approval, man. Granted, pot can make even Louie Anderson amusing, but these guys should make you laugh even if all you inhale's the 2-drink minimum.

Gorging: Krunch Pizza Bar
980 2nd Ave, between 51st and 52nd; 212.207.4122; see the menu
Opening tomorrow, Krunch says their square slices satisfy both discriminating diners, and fat ones: they use top-notch ingredients (prosciutto, fontina, truffle essence, etc), but their pizza's far more substantial than typical gourmet thin crust -- so instead of getting an $18 party cracker, you'll enjoy a stomach-exploding feast.

Culture: 13 Tzameti
Opens July 28 at Film Forum: 209 W Houston, between 6th and Varick
Showtimes/tickets: FilmForum.org; trailer: PalmPictures.com
Accidentally promise your girlfriend a whimsical, Amélie-like French film? Try 13 Tzameti: opening Friday, it's a delicious pastry of a movie that follows 22-year-old Sebastien as he steals a package, unquestioningly follows the instructions inside, encounters many zany characters, then ultimately finds himself in a dim basement, forced into a 13-man game of Russian roulette! Your girlfriend will think you're magnifique!