Since time immemorial, Upper Westers have been crying tears of blood for a more spacious alternative to the classy-but-tiny wine bar Bin 71. Who better to dry their hideous eyes than the people behind...Bin 71? Enter Barcibo Enoteca.

BE follows Bin's lead in that it's also a top-shelf watering hole, equally suited for small groups of reputable friends, or dates you're persuading toward disrepute at the hands of a small group of your friends. But at three times Bin's size, BE's far more accommodating, with two rooms each sporting their own full bar. Booze includes Italian wines (bottles from $32-$250), plus liver-pummeling pours of ultra-high-end single malts, whiskies, and bourbons. (The latter includes 20-yr-old Pappy Van Winkle, rated #1 at the World Spirits Championships -- the Super Bowl of

feigning-sophistication-to-cover-up-alcoholism). BE's Italianized bar menu features risotto, paninis, crostinis, and seven varieties of "salame" -- seemingly a limpdickishly affected spelling, until you realize it's just the singular of "salami".

Two rooms, two bars, and decent-sized kitchen aside, this still isn't a huge place -- but at least you can swill Pappy and nosh on salted meat without your ballooning stomach crushing a stroller-pushing UWS dad into the wall.