Shoes with flashy names create unrealistic expectations, from "Airs" and "Dunks", which won't help you ball, to "Hushpuppies", which won't help you find lunch. For shoes that speak for themselves, try Common Projects.

Manhattan-based Common's a wearably upscale line of footwear whose models are ID'd only by numbers stamped on each pairs' heel -- the designers way of telling his shoes "No matter how eyecatching, you're still only there to keep poo from 'twixt my toes". Despite their robo-nomenclature, Commons are human-stitched in Italy with the finest materials, and sturdily built to survive the Apocalypse that'll kill all but roaches and Crocs. Models range from leather chukka slip-ons for work, to canvas low-tops for casual meandering, to supra-steezed gold high-tops and latex loafers, for the twinkle-toed fetishist about town.

Commons do name one model, a signature low-top called The Achilles -- which you'll expect will protect your only weakness, until you choke to death on a fistful of hushpuppies.

Check out the full line at CommonProjects.com