No matter how powerful your suit, everyone knows your buying it involved a tiny old man with his face in your crotch. For an experience commensurate with the threads, try Browns and Branden.

Started by an A&R rep (J. Timberlake, Will.I.Am) and his go-to wardrobe troubleshooter, B&B's a Beverly Hills house that's been converted into a bespoke suit shop/men's oasis meant to evoke the Rat Pack era (nobody shopped like Sinatra). Your appointment starts with a gratis cocktail before a stylist guides you through sample books from the likes of Dormeuil, Loro Piana, and Holland And Sherry, steering you towards the right fabric based on factors like body type, pigmentation, even line of work -- though if you work at Vons, there is no right suit fabric. To keep the pampering on boil, there's a guest house in back, loaded with amenities: Cuban cigars, poker/blackjack/craps tables, steam room, even a masseuse table (ask for the massage when making your appt., or you'll just lie there waiting, with your face in a hole).

On Thursday and Friday nights, B&B hosts open-to-the-public (by RSVP) cocktail parties, with visiting speakers to educate guests on the finer points of men's fashion -- like how to tactfully awaken the old man gently snoring on your junk.