MC Hammer channeled Rick James with his sample-heavy "U Can't Touch This", then re-channeled him by squandering $30 million on racehorses, Italian marble, and DeLoreans. Now Hammer's back, and only you can save him from a 2nd bankruptcy, by visiting DanceJam.

Just launched into public beta, Jam's a fancy-feet video site conceived by the inexplicably resurgent Stanley Kirk Burrell (too legit to quit, but not too legit to disappear for 15 years). The site's already stocked with male and female Step Up 3 hopefuls executing popular dances you've never heard of (e.g., Chicken Noodle Soup, Tutting), as well as "Lesson" videos -- making you the most popular Bar Mitzvah attraction this side of the Hora. You'll waste the most time browsing through the "Battles" section, where users pref one dancer's footage over another's, using the endless power of the internet to let the world know "GDaGreat75" does a slicker Bop than "MoonCricket" -- despite the latter's freakishly powerful legs.

Of course, you can join and upload your own footage to become dancing's next big thing -- after which you'll squander your millions by investing them in bankrupt rappers' comeback projects.