Every red-blooded American boy thrilled to Cannonball Run's high-octane adventure: exotic cars, perilous stunt-driving, and super-charged racial and sexual stereotyping. Delivering everything but a one-eyed black Jew dressed as a priest: Rental Car Rally.

Organized by the StreetWars honcho (a.k.a. "Supreme Commander") and a co-founder of Brooklyn's Wiimbledon (a.k.a. "Steve"), RCR's a 36-hour, NYC-to-Montreal, backroads-only competive road trip for which all whips must be commandeered from the likes of Hertz, Avis, Zipcar, and Enterprise (they'll pick you up!). Starting Aug. 15 at midnight from the Water Taxi Beach parking lot, drivers and their crews (2 minimum, no max) will motor across Manhattan to Jersey, then head north for their first timed check-in: a group breakfast in Adirondack Park, where 3 million acres of pristine wilderness will soak up the combined carbon footprint of a convoy of Chevy Malibus. Teams must cross the border by noon, clock in, then repair to lodgings until the mandatory 10pm-2am party in an undisclosed location on Montreal's outskirts: free beer & grub, plus screenings of car classics like Cannonball and Two-Lane Blacktop (sadly, it's BYO Herbie Fully Loaded).

Teams race back to NYC starting 8am Sunday. Awards are held at Water Taxi Beach, with cash prizes, various sponsor giveaways, and trophies made from gold-schlacked vintage gas pump handles for best team style. That eye's sure gonna hurt coming out.