Men will say anything to get out of using a condom, from "if you really loved me..." to "what's a condom?" Let a piece of plastic do the groveling for you, with STFree.

Bklyn-based STF promotes responsible uglies-bumping via a Safe Sex License, a clinically backed, wallet-sized photo ID that says "I'm so clean, the condom should wear me". How it works: sign up online, download the clinic verification form, and get tested; mail the results to STF, and they'll send a card w/ your unique member ID and photo (remember: nothing says "trust me" like Blue Steel). Then simply hand the card to whomever, reveal your secret password and ID, and tell her to dial the card's 1-800 number; she'll then be privy to the dates and results of your last two HIV/AIDS tests, irrefutable proof that you were disease-free on at least two specific occasions in the past.

STF also provides accounts for herpes, gonorrhea, and other STDs that require more frequent testing -- rigor that's usually only required in the adult film industry, or for men who're pathetically accomplished at talking their way out of condoms.