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Emailed in a LIST on: Thursday July 24, 2008

The List

Gear: Jon Wye

Wye makes tees brandishing fighting roosters and karate-ers, belt buckles both traditional and rocking buttered waffles, and leather belts ranging from the graffiti-spattered "Colonize", to the racing-striped "Speed Racer", to the brown "Sexual Chocolate" (this accessory will become your greatest love of all).

Services: SlyDial

Dial Sly's number plus the digits you want to reach, put up with some quick ads (or shell out 15¢ to skip 'em), and Sly'll put you right through to anyone's voicemail without their phone ever ringing -- perfect for reading scripted messages to chicks, making contact while quashing convos with lengthy chatterers, and convincing prideful hotshots that their new iPhones are busted.

Tastebud Confusers: Miracle Fruit Tablets

These tabs deliver the same taste-altering properties as from-the-wild Miracle Fruit, tricking your tongue into tasting sour foods as sweet. Unlike the 20-to-30-minute-lasting, highly perishable berries, these guys last for two hours, and keep for up to six months -- by which your nightly dessert of lemons will have worn your tongue down to a shriveled nub.

Eats: Direct Designs Space Grill

This they-thought-of-it-all charcoal cooker features two (one large, one smaller) height-adjustable, swing-out (for easy charcoal reloads) stainless-steel grills, an attached chopping board, and hooks for hanging BBQ tools -- though none'll be large enough to support that jerk who's always telling you to flip the steaks.

Stats: Global Rich List

Pop in your salary and you'll find out your exact position in worldwide wealth -- the financial equivalent of asking your girlfriend how you compare to that basketball team she used to date.

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