The drama of South America can inspire soul-searching questions like "how could the Andes not be the work of a higher power?", and "how long before my kidnapper lets me pee?". It can also lead you to question your current employment, as with the owners of Twisted Vines.

Planning to soft-open Saturday, Vines is a pressed-tin ceiling, 36-seat bistro helmed by a married couple who decided to quit their IT jobs during a months-long tour of Argentina and Chile, where they toured magnificent vineyards, hiked majestic mountains, and totally regretted buying a bag of crushed leaves from that mustachioed kid. The wines (20 by the glass, plus 100ish rotating small-producer bottles) are all priced at retail, and served either tableside or at a central, wood-backed bar; bottles are 1/2-priced on Wednesdays, and there are free tastings from 12-4pm on weekends, a great way to get cheaply sauced before a long night of Legend of the Seeker (seriously, such a show exists). For non-fermented sustenance there are cheese and charcuterie boards; apps like bacon-wrapped dates and a nut/olive selection called the "Twisted Trio"; and small plates like beef wrapped in grape leaves, shiitake ravioli, and a wild boar prosciutto sausage, stabbed for no apparent reason by Bear Grylls himself, before having someone brush his teeth at the Four Seasons.

Finish fatly with desserts like a vanilla bean creme brulee, NY cheesecake w/ blackberry coulis, Belgian chocolate mousse, and a "tart of the day", a promise that'll inspire the most soul-searching question of all: "how could i not eat 365 tarts?"

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You can also purchase bottles to-go, wine-shop style. The menu awaits your approving gaze at Twisted-Vines.com.