Atlanta

770.442.9169

This fully restored 1970 Lincoln Town Car stretch rents for a bargain-basement $75/hr (w/ two-hour minimum), and delivers an onslaught of pimpin' via neon green under-lighting, a fully-wrapped sparkly black Astroturf exterior, and "disco-rock bordello" interior theme, with black & gold velvet upholstery and an 18-microprocessor-controlled color-changing light show. Also inside: a plasma screen, a fuzz-covered telephone, and an onboard computer w/ 2,000 classic party songs, internet, and GPS -- which, given that it's in the back, clearly is itself lost.

11:30am Sunday, at the Westin Peachtree Plaza: 210 Peachtree St NE, Downtown; 404.589.7506

This Dad's Day, take the old man to The Sun Dial resto/lounge for a special three-course brunch menu (Fried Crawfish & Grits Cake w/ crawfish sauce, Blue Cornmeal Crusted Salmon, Smoked Tomato BBQ-braised Short Rib), while a special "Dad's Clubhouse" on the 723-foot-high view level will feature a Sweetwater beer tasting, a Wii station, and a putting green -- and since Dial perpetually revolves, your pops has a built-in excuse for his bogeys.

This plush ATL-made stadium cushion features an insulated bladder that covertly holds 750ml of your favorite alcoholic imbibeable -- dispensed through a concealed hose with a simple twist valve to start the flow -- and can withstand 300lbs+ of pressure, although squeezing your 298lb ass into Turner Field's seats is on you.

9pm tonight, at Spring 4th Center: 728 Spring St NW, Midtown; 678.698.5778

This do-it-all bash features six different “experiences” (DJ Teknology's "Pillow Conversations" dance party; "Lick a Shot" East Coast hip-hop mix; Shoe Fetish Fashion Show...), a full bar, live tunes from local Hip-Hop/R&B collective Fusion, and vendors hawking music and jewelry. There'll also be eight rooms with stuff like free movies, video games, and an erotic art gallery, plus heavily discounted massages, body painting & henna tattoos, and tarot/wellness card readings -- which'll tell you that if you went to the Shoe Fetish Fashion Show, you're not really well at all.

Check out this decidedly, um, basic website's vault of ATL nostalgia like photos, postcards, magazine articles (a 1970 AP story about "Wino Hippie" protesters), and artists' rendering of city development plans dating as far back as 100 years, when it was called "The Half Million City" in postcards -- a term presently used only by City Hall's budgeting committee.