To please the fickle gods, you're supposed to commemorate the beginning of baseball season with the finest burnt offerings, but grilling's such a pesky task, you're often content to fork General Tso's out of a paper box and concede the division to the Phillies. Lazily please the gods, with the Chamber Grill.

A futuristic outdoor station designed in Vidalia and reminiscent of R2-D2's winged, aluminum cousin, the Chamber augments standard grill features with impressive slow-cooking capabilities, an all-in-one answer for the chef with distinctive taste and unwavering ADD. Along with the ability to grill, sear, boil or fry foods, the Chamber's patented inner design -- including a unique water partition -- allows users to lazily steam, roast, and even bake their way to victory, maximizing slack time, and eliminating the possibility of an open flame igniting your Aqua Velva. Because moisture is pulled up and into the morsels as heat floods the chamber, you can marinate your meal simply by adding flavored liquids or spices to the water -- like a culinary bong, though you probably can't be jailed for possession of cumin.

Sikes plans on releasing new models this year, but in the meantime's just launched four fresh Vidalia onion-based grilling sauces -- so delicious, they'll relieve you of other pesky tasks, like food that tastes good.

Add this to My Thrillist

Bring the heat to your meat at SikesCookers.com