Art can enhance just about anything: think sweet street paintings on otherwise dingy city buildings, or those breathtaking farm landscapes at the dentist. Wait, maybe that's the laughing gas, and the promise of stickers. Stoking your imagination with art that's edible, Painted Table.
Captained by an eccentric husband/wife team, Table's a just-opened, all-about-art loft-styled indoor/outdoor cafe serving creatively conceived breakfast and lunch from a 22-seat patio and a main dining room with green cement floors featuring Chinese characters, blue stained glass vases hung upside down as lamps, paintings and photography from local artists, and natural wood-topped tables, which the chef says he "paints with the food", although hopefully not like you used to, Gerber Baby. Every dish literally receives the chef's calligraphic signature (in chocolate glaze for breakfast, balsamic reduction for lunch), including all-day breakfasts from Scramblers (Roast Beast: sliced roast beef, caramelized onions, Swiss), to omelets like the Outer Banks (jumbo tiger shrimp, onions, fire-roasted bell peppers), to the 1 1/2-inch thick Crunchin' French Toast: batter coated, topped w/ vanilla-orange anglaise & peaches, and dredged with Frosted Flakes, all adding up to a grrrrrrreat way to not fit into your sweats. Lunch starts with blue crab cakes or fried pickle spears, before moving to sandwiches both cold (curried chicken), and hot (fried green tomato w/ peppercorn bacon & and horseradish aiolo); 1/2lb Angus burgers come 11 ways, like the teriyaki-glazed Wowee Maui (pineapple, ham, onion, Swiss), the Chili Burger w/ cheddar & onion, and the cola-syrup BBQ-sauced Coke Burger, which'll cause your friends to worry when you ramble excitedly about it for five hours, then hug them and ask to borrow money.
You'll be able to cop beer and wine in January; in the meantime, Painted's rocking Mighty Leaf hot teas, the chef's special coffee blend, and bottomless tea, described as "not sickening Charleston sweet" -- meaning it's no help getting you a cavity, and a sweet waiting room session with a watercolor barn.