Like pitching and playing running back, the ability to pedicab at the highest level can go suddenly -- maybe you can still the bring the fatties to Whataburger, but your ability to bring them back from Whataburger's a thing of the past. Setting up for pedi-tirement, the churning thighs behind Psychlist: Subversive Cycling.

PSC's a complete line of thoughtfully functional bags each built tough enough to withstand the rigors of the road (traveling down it, falling on it); the biz was started up by a veteran pedicabber named Russell S in order to still pay rent until Hollywood creates a "Nordberg"-type role for all-star people-movers. Lined with waterproof vinyl polyester coating, the heavy-duty Cordura numbers are available in 20+ colors (from woodland camo to purple) and four sizes, each named after a quantity of illicit materials: the wallet sized "Nickel" has space for your phone and cards, the hip-hanging "Dime" is built for a U-lock, the "Quarter" comes with laptop friendly detachable pockets, and the monstrous "Que Pee" has 2560 cubic inches of space; each model also comes with a hidden stash pocket, saving the cops a little reward for after they put your QP into evidence. Rounding out your lifestyle are color-customizable super-soft T's emblazoned with simple bike drawings and slogans ranging from the militant ("This is my weapon"), to the conversation-starting ("I rode my bike here"), to the conversation-ending ("I only ride a bike to compensate for my huge penis").

PSC also deals in made-to-order jeans with reinforced pockets and crotch, a selection of short-brimmed biker caps, and upper-frame pads for protecting the jewels -- because when those go suddenly, all the thigh-churning in the world won't keep you in the game.

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Check out the line at subversivecycling.com