The Wild Rover Trinity bar, remixed

Sup Internet bastards, Sully here. Thrillist asked me to give you a breakdown of this new bar The Wild Rover. Why would they do that, you ask? Maybe because I score crazy amounts of Dedham chicks, and am basically the Mayor of Faneuil Hall, except unlike Menino, my buddy didn't just get booted off the water commission. Or maybe it's just because of my topical political humor.

Either way, you may recognize TWR as the former Trinity bar, though it just got an extreme makeover they usually only give to crappy houses and fat people from Rhode Island. At first, I was like, "Well, now where am I going to house Jager bombs while telling Dedham chicks I went to BC High, even though I went to Norwood High?". But then they told me they've still got Jager bombs, and have planned a bunch of other new stuff, including:

• Getting rid of Mottley's Comedy Club in the basement to make way for a DJ booth, dance floor, and a wicked sick sound system. Which reminds me of a joke: what has two thumbs and likes Dropkick Murphys tracks? Give up? Well, you can't see me, but I'm pointing my thumbs at myself and saying "This guy!".
• Instead of eating like four Anna's super burritos for lunch, now you only need to eat three, and a regular-size one, because they're offering up a free buffet during the week from 4-7p with chicken tenders & buff wings.
• Remember when you would want a 16oz BL smooth at Trinity and the bartender would be like "Sully, that's three bucks," and you would freak out and start talking about the rising price of Sox tickets and natural gas? Well, those beauts are now $1.50.
• The top floor's now rocking a stage, and'll showcase live bands. Or, as I call them, "musical groups that better know several songs by the Dropkick Murphys".