Union Park What goes UP, must go downtown

The Mantis & Cameo guys have stepped out of club-world with Union Park, a sports-centric den of inebrity soft-opening Friday in downtown. The hangout's divided into two rooms: one anchored around a 55ft, 30-tap bar made of concrete they poured themselves; and another evoking the frat house you wish you'd lived in, with a pair of 70-inchers showing UFC and boxing, plus PS3 stations backed by an AstroTurf wall, pool tables, and couches to retire to once some d*ck with his own stick whoops you in pool.

"Upscale bar food with a twist" runs from lobster corn dogs to a 3/4lb burger called the Howdy Reuben: like the sandwich in that it's dripping with 1000 Island, and like Sierra in that that's how managers greeted him before saying "You've been traded". For more serious mealing, go for everything from an 8oz lemon pepper ahi to classic chicken & waffles (here's a picture of that -- it's hotter than Paris Hilton's hotel tapes would've been if she'd subbed in just about anybody for Rick Salomon).

Drinks like beer floats (double chocolate stout with a scoop of vanilla bean for you, fat man) back up a Texas-heavy brew list that ranges from locals Franconia & DEBC, to Real Ale's Devil's Backbone -- courage Satan'll need once he learns about the terrible things you did in club-world. And college.