Three Lions Pub Roight -- look at dis pub, oy oy bollocks innit?

Americans don't appreciate soccer like the rest of the world, mainly because we like to see frequent scoring and action, and then when the p**n's over, we usually flip back to football. Trying to overcome American resistance to passing and nil-nil ties: Three Lions Pub.

Just opened on Colfax, Three Lions serves hearty pub food, broadcasts "as much soccer as possible" (especially Premier League and Euro matches), and "is modeled after some of the finest London pubs", which apparently translates into high ceilings, a red British telephone booth, and football scarves from the likes of Arsenal and West Ham, aka how Kanye labels his sandwiches so they don't get stolen on tour. Apps run from the Angels on Horseback (a plate of six oysters with lemon/ garlic wrapped in bacon, grilled and served with house sauce), to empanadas filled with pork mojo or beef churrasco, curry-tossed hot wings, and breaded mashed potatoes with beef/ lightly fried chicken and dijon mustard, called Kroketten Nederlands -- so then what the hell do they call their little fried food rolls? Entrees actually start American (with a BBQ pork hoagie and oyster po' boys) before re-crossing the pond with traditional pub fare like bangers & mash, Shepherd's Pie, fish 'n chips, and a lamb- or chicken-stuffed pie called the Pasty, though you should really wear an entire shirt after eating all this heavy pub food.

The UK-heavy draft list includes a Fuller's seasonal and an ESB, Boddingtons, Strongbow, and Carlsberg, plus there are two booths equipped with private table taps so you can serve yourself...and then when the p**n's over, use the taps to pour yourself beer.