The Hamptons Players Club An equestrian East Hampton beer garden

Polo's a natural fit for the Hamptons: everyone there's sort of jockeying for position, and as soon as they determine you're lame, they drag you out back and kill you. Seizing on that symmetry: The Hamptons Players Club, opening this weekend.

Led by a Miami culinarian who served as the private chef of both Shaq and JLo, the Players Club is part beer garden, part restaurant, all decked out with equestrian details (large action photos, collectible riding gear), dark hardwood, and furniture imported from the Pennsylvania Amish, so you really ought to witness it for yourself. Here’s the rundown:

The Beer Garden: The open-air oasis has a freestanding bar boasting six taps and 16 cicerone-certified bottles, plus there's a custom fire pit, communal tables, and banquette seating, all draped in the club’s royal blue and forest green. Because Rulon isn't the only hungry Gardener, guests out there can snack on burgers, prosciutto/goat cheese thin-crust pizzas (multi-grain!), and buckets of Long Island corn.

The Lounge: Beer and corn done, things get sexy at a 1500sqft VIP area, armed with cocktails (like the White Stallion Sangria with cucumber puree, vodka, and white wine or the ginger-flavored American Mule), and white banquette couches surrounding adjustable tables that can accommodate everything from intimate couples to big groups, but not intimate groups, as it's not that kind of place.

The Restaurant: Accessed by French sliding doors, the fine-dining section of the night'll be highlighted by Spicy Thai Mussels and Lobster Avocado Bruschetta to start, followed by steaks and chops of all kinds, and specialties like Goat Cheese-Crusted Lamb Rack, and Linguine de Mare -- so kill it all, and nobody will be able to drag you anywhere!