Evans & Peel Detective Agency House infusions, smoked sliders, vintage 'tails… she's got it where it counts

Lemme tell you about this dame who just showed up in Chelsea. The handle's Evans & Peel Detective Agency, and she may look like a gumshoe's on the outside, but behind the hush-hush moving bookcase, she's all speakeasy -- a real scatter, trust me. We're talkin' wood floors, vintage cinema seating, felt tables, the whole caboodle.

She likes to keep two things loaded: her 45 (gramophone player) and you, and she doesn't care who knows it. She's got house-infused giggle juice served in paper bags (whiskey with maple syrup; vodka with burnt ends) and beer poured from a tap attached to a radiator, so the badges are none-the-wiser; you can also dip the bill into a Carib Willy (rum, coconut water, Cointreau), or if you really want to get out on the roof, a Hop, a Skip, and a Jump: a brandy sour blended with the ankle's own pale ale reduction.

This dish smokes like it's going out of fashion, with a custom-built... smoker for... dishes like pulled pork sliders, an Alaskan salmon sandwich that she's pinned a few capers to, and "Mac's Cheese", which the broad describes as a "guilty pleasure", though all a guy should feel guilty about around here is if he's such a bindle stiff he can't find the joint in the first place.