Bespoke at Purple Bar Your favourite drink, guaranteed

Getting all your stuff personalized is great, unless you're Billy Joel, and your monogrammed pajamas are a constant reminder of all the oral sex you used to have. Serving customized cocktails that'll bring only pleasure and no regrets: Bespoke at the Purple Bar.

Launching tomorrow in Sanderson's mauve-swathed watering hole (and fueling the Billiards Room's vintage drinks trolley), Bespoke eliminates both menus & waitresses, instead handing all duties to veteran mixologists who'll create "tailored cocktails based around personal tastes and mood".

Said booze-smiths will either riff on favoured classics, or start from scratch with a base spirit, building from there via an arsenal of tinctures, daily made infusions (walnut whiskey/mint rum/tea gin, etc.), syrups, cordials, and bitters, and even exotic equipment like a "smoking gun", though the mere fact that you're drinking should provide ample evidence of whatever terrible things you do later.

Those inevitably wanting more can refill their vintage glassware straight away from a small bottle filled w/ the excess elixir made during consultation. They're also looking to implement a system to digitize each and every creation, so you can have the same cocktail again next time instead of subsisting on a river of dreams.