From a local dude who wanted a place where everyone knows your name, but with food portions small enough to keep Kirstie Alley away, Midtown’s Wine Vault’s channeling the owner's love for comfy neighborhood joints with a two-floor, tavern-meets-lounge sporting humming chandeliers, digital fireplaces, oversized black Gothic mirrors, plus so much wine you'll barely recognize yourself in the oversized black Gothic mirrors.

Said vino’s handled by 50 constantly rotating reds (Montes Merlot from Chile, Pascual Toso Malbec) and whites (Crème de Lys Chardonnay, Two Angels Sauv Blanc), including 20 by the glass. Also: tap/bottled crafts like Cigar City, Rascal Pale Ale, Left Hand Stout, and Palm, plus bubbly, and vintage ports, which were filled with seafaring men who probably weren’t bubbly, because all their legs were made of wood.

The chef's keeping things tapas-style with plates of pickled mushrooms w/ glazed goat cheese, speck-wrapped cantaloupe, crispy prosciutto w/ figs and balsamic, chicken liver pate, shredded duck, and cheese plates with Manchego, Gorgonzola, Crottin, and Parmesan chunks, which you should definitely get when you’re on a date with your baby, Ruth.

In the coming weeks, they'll be introducing a monthly wine-tasting cub, rotating DJs, and a full liquor bar -- an addition that’ll have you Danson all crazy, and knowing absolutely nobody’s name.