A Champagne wet dream the four French owners vowed to realize after one of them "fell in love with Miami", just-opened, Ocean Drive-situated Magic City: High Club Miami is a scaled-down, "more intimate" version of the original Nice-based megaclub renowned for its oft-topless female patrons and lineup of house DJs, but not Full House DJs, cause there's only one of those and she's always too busy making out with Steve somewhere.

The 400-reveler-ready space's divided into three sections (main room, elevated VIP, outdoor terrace), and's basically a nightclub meets insane asylum meets grandma's attic, with black-padded leather walls, a massive and fully stocked white lacquered bar, and tons of antique, gold-trimmed, Marie Antoinette-esque couches, tables, and red velvet benches, which're what Ruth Bader Ginsburg insists on sitting on, on her birthday.

Music-wise, it's gonna be 100% house, exclusively spun by French DJs, including their resident tag-team Axel Beca and Mike Andrea, and for special events, they'll be rotating in guest spinners, who promise "I’ll Be Around", but since they're guests that's actually a huge lie.

While you flail around looking for the "models" part, they'll provide the bottles, including everything from Russian vodkas to 18yr Scotches, as well as a slew of Champs and Cognacs, all of which'll guarantee you access without being on the guest list, even if they have a Full House (note: does not apply to Kimmy Gibbler).