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A super-scientific breakdown of Minneapolis' new drinker-upper

Minneapolis

Introduction: The newest energy/recovery supplement out there is Twin Cities-born and bred, so we decided to field-test the product that promises "no jittery feelings" -- oh yeah? Just wait until they see this scathing report!

Experiment: ...to test Eruption, duh.

Materials: 20 packets of Eruption Lava Lime powder. The official Eruption drink menu. Free run of the bar (and skilled bartender) at Wasabi Sushi to serve a male and female subject.

Hypothesis: Someone's ex-girlfriend will still be dialed late at night, but then also again in the morning, in a more chipper fashion.

Procedure: The subjects will be served five drinks mixed exactly per Eruption's detailed recipes while being observed and recorded. The following morning, they will drink an Eruption in water, but observers probably won't be allowed in their house to watch.

Findings:

E Vodka Martini
M: That's dangerous. {gulps and finishes} Because I could drink a lot of those. I wouldn't normally pound a martini the way I am right now.
F: It tastes Kool-Aid-ish. I'm done. {the drink was gone in less than two minutes} That goes down real easy.

E Margarita
M: I can't stand tequila, so if this makes me like it that's really something. {sips} Ooohoohoo. {makes sour face} I feel like it's so condensed. {drinks} It makes your head feel lighter. I feel like this is how Charlie and Grandpa Joe felt after they drank the fizzy lifting drink.
F: Oh, you did not like that. It tastes like those frozen margarita mixes. {finishes} I feel good, but booze doesn't hit me as fast as this guy.

E Comfort
M: {infuses his own} I can't believe a whole packet goes in there. {pauses, looks astonished} Looks like a bunch of Gremlins jumped into a pool! {sips} Ooh. I like this one. I could drink these all night.
F: That's not so bad, but I'd probably never do it again.

E Vodka Tall
M: {silence} I'm buzzed. {sips} I'm going to erupt. {leaves for bathroom, comes back and slams rest of it}
F: Ahh, yeah. Now that's what I'm talking about. It tastes like flavored water. This is my favorite. I feel like BING, BING!

E Brew
M: {starts to sweat and turn red} I'm allergic to Japanese beer, so I should probably stop drinking this.
F: OK. {slides E Brew away} I don't like that.

E Natural (for the morning after)
M: I woke up this morning feeling a little groggy, took down a full glass and now I feel great.
F: {couldn't fall asleep} Even off of 3.5hrs of sleep I feel awesome this morning, and after drinking it, I definitely sparked alive again and feel like I can do 40 things at one time!

Conclusion: Both subjects found Eruption to be an exciting and palatable addition to their drinking and drinking recovery, and no one actually ended up calling Stephanie, which is good because everyone's super-happy for her and Todd, they deserve each other.

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