Oktoberfest Olympics Kegs, more kegs, and… ping pong!

Things you complained about during the 2012 Olympics: 1) tape delays, 2) Ryan Seacrest, and 3) no one giving you a medal for complaining about 1) tape delays, 2) Ryan Seacrest. Luckily, Fishtown's Frankford Hall heard your gripes and's hosting a London-rivaling do-over with almost as much beer as the Athletes' Village: Oktoberfest Olympics, two weeks' worth of interactive keg-tapping, can-hurtling, grain-geeking, and new-brew-debuting awesomeness. Below, the three best-est events least likely to be interrupted by another synchronized male diving montage:

Oktoberfest Street Fest & Ceremonial Keg Tapping: No parade of nations here, just a (yawn) day-and-night-long celebration of German beer, where Frankford Avenue will be lined w/ cuckoo-furnished tents and multi-tap beer trucks pouring Hofbrau, Spaten, and Franziskaner. Great Lakes Brewing's also gonna get a tent to fuel your love of America, plus FH'll have a special food menu with sausages (bauernwurst, bratwurst…) and rotisserie chicken to fuel your love of being (a fat) American.
Sat, Sept 22nd; 12p-10p

Ultimate Ping Pong Tournament: Monday night's event is strictly PING pong. It's just like beer pong except you use paddles, no one's aiming for your cup, and you don't rinse the ball off between rou -- just rent Forrest Gump and do what he does.
Mon, Sept 24th; 7p-9p

Oktoberfest Beer Olympics: Funnyman Eli Shaika emcees a night where you can win medals/gift cards/steins-you-didn't-drop by competing in events like stein-carrying limbo, brat-tossing, a boom-blasting obstacle course, and a live version of Tapper. Now that would make an awesome montage.
Wed, Sept 26th; 7p-10p