Reading just got fun...ner

Fact: Books are really awesome unless they weren't written by either R.L. Stine or Matt Christopher. Fiction: Also awesome, because that's the genre of book R.L. Stine and Matt Christopher write. For a boozy reading experience that's much better than piano lessons, since Piano Lessons Can be Murder!, hit up Two Sisters Bar and Books, opening today.

Proprietor'd by a lifetime front-of-houser who no doubt has a serious thing for Tia AND Tamera, Two Sisters is a vintage-looking drinkery-cum-book-shoppe in Hayes Valley with lived-in dark hardwood floors, an 1895 bronze cash register, and a take-one-leave-one reading library with authors like Steinbeck, Shakespeare, and even Mother Goose, all curated by the owner's sister. Drink-wise they'll have four beers on tap (like Liberty and Bear Republic), wine by the glass/carafe, and cocktails that (until the ABC starts being cooler) will be Sherry- and vermouth-based, including: The Duke's Son (Amontillado Sherry, Carpano Antica, bitters), the Port of SF (Portuguese wine, lime, ginger, Pilsner), and the Italian vermouth 'n grapefruit-based Iggy, which certainly has some Pop, not to mention outrageous and unpredictable stage antics. The more-than-just-apps food menu is chef'd by a former Zeitgeist bartender who knows his way around a kitchen (plus mad port-a-potties) and'll include under-$10 comestibles like housemade jerky (marinated in an apple cider/pineapple juice brine), roast beef with horseradish creme fraiche/sliced red grapes on a baguette, and sausage made from wild boar...and no, that's not a reference to Steinbeck's The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights. Bwahahaha, lit jokes!

And because they can't help but sing along to that Alicia Keys song, on Saturdays they'll be doing a 1-4p New York happy hour with specials on NY-referencing drinks, a hookup that has probably already left you with Goosebumps. Or maybe even Monster Blood. Ahhhhh!!!