The Hancock Room Thomas Jefferson would totally drink here

Designed to look like a dimly lit smoking room you might find in a Founding Father's house, The Hancock Room's an epic, US-history-major-approved drinkery that's opening this Thursday in Chinatown, and outfitted with all kinds of historical awesome. To wit: the seating (pre-Colonial tufted black leather couches), the accoutrements (fireside-chat-y radios, 13-star US flags), and the artwork, which includes portraits of American greats doing holy-balls stuff like a Wolverine Ben Franklin stealing electricity from Zeus or a dual-gunned George Washington fighting off a horde of zombies -- a piece of art that obviously comes in a fraaaaaaaame.

Keeping in theme, HR'll be serving up cocktails from a crown-molded, gold-eagle-topped bar that'll be heavily focused on the two types of hooch our nation's founders primarily drank (not including Sam Adams Cherry Wheat):

Brandy: Wine's stronger, sexier cousin'll be used in eight specialty cocktails, including the Betsy Ross (w/ port, Solerno blood orange liqueur, Angostura bitters), and the gum syrup & absinthe-adding namesake John Hancock -- though have too many and you'll probably be the one signing off.

Whiskey: Prominently displayed in a back-lit cabinet, browns'll be paired in beer-and-a's like the Poor Richard's Almanac (a shot of George Dickel with a Boston Lager), plus poured into tipples such as The Revolution, which combines rye, crushed red peppers, port, lemon juice, and honey liqueur, also the only explanation for why Pooh was always seeing those pink elephants.

And to keep with the historic thing going, they'll be giving change in gold dollars (since coins were what the founders used) and if you present the 'tender with a pre-1965 silver dollar, he'll give you five drinks, so you'd better be ready to Tea Party.