A presenter visibly wishes he could co-star opposite Anne Hathaway in a daringly realistic sex scene	Someone attributes Egypt's revolution to The Social Network	An actress hates on Natalie Portman for retaining her figure during pregnancy	Terrible Jeff Bridges impression during a True Grit skit. Just terrible.	Annette Bening, Julianne Moore praised for bravery/continued hotness
Christian Bale's gained most of the weight back	Aron Ralston thrills crowd with one-handed award envelope opening	Someone's impassioned mostly crazy political speech is cut off by music	Colin Firth wins Best Actor and gives a typically dry English acceptance speech	Someone references Christian Bale's ability to "become" whoever he's playing
The winner of the Best Foreign Film comes from a country we once totally pwned in war	Mark Wahlberg's too wicked hard to smile on camera		Renee Zellwegger's face looks like she's been sucking lemons while the rest of her looks like she's been sucking down lemon meringue pies.	Tom Cruise "caught" on camera in PDA with Katie Holmes.
Denzel Washington, Martin Scorsese, Tom Hanks, Ben Stiller, and John Travolta are all shown on screen at some point	Someone makes a joke about Ricky Gervais making a joke	Anna Hathaway wears blindingly red lipstick	James Franco does a bit about getting his arm stuck in something	Someone wins and makes a "is this all a dream" joke a la Inception
A winner in a category no one cares about starts crying	Natalie Portman has her baby on the stage after winning	The characters from Toy Story 3 present an award	Samuel L. Jackson is taped laughing at someone’s misfortune while in a Kangol	Zach Galifianakis presents an award between two ferns