thrillist

The things you turn to in desperation often become your preference -- for proof, just talk to 1/3 of anyone who ever got married. For tees that went from last-to-first resort, get hooked on Junkie Brand.

Junkie's from an East Dallas painter who ran Deep Ellum's now-shuttered Revolution Gallery, and who'd render his own work on t-shirt material whenever he ran out of canvas; now, actually wearable tees are his primary bag, with 27 water-based ink designs printed on Alternative Apparel blanks, many contrasting provocative graphics with peace-&-love messages in non-Western tongues, so people won't instantly know how big of a sissy you are. Offerings stretch from a black chopper with "Forever Devoted" in Hebrew, to a switchblade-aura'd Virgin Mary preaching "True Love" in Arabic, to a same-phrased, blue Buck Rogers raygun, though as a symbol of undying affection, that hardly touches Twiki and Dr. Theopolis. Phrase-free designs include a green/orange Mandela hovering over a rapturous man's head, a squatting, b&w Siddhartha throwing off cosmically positive vibes, and a trio of classic Pontiac GTOs -- spill coffee on yours, and ruin a perfectly Grand A.M.

Many shirts are spot dyed and distressed, and all carry unusual brand tags, either a randomly placed, stitched-on contrasting panel of vintage shirt fabric, or a thin aluminum rectangle, perhaps recycled from the cans you so often turn to in desperation, and that've led to you growing, and growing, and growing.

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Be a bad ass: snag hope for your chest at JunkieBrand.com