While aware of its supposed powers, most dudes remain befuddled by the world of cologne, a mystic netherland where watching Diddy ride a jet ski in a tux actually constitutes solid purchasing logic. Navigating for you, Neil Morris.

An award-winning independent niche perfumer, NM hand-develops bespoke fragrances that encapsulate his clients' likes, dislikes, and "happy memories", assuming you have those kind of recollections to mine. The 90-minute session in Morris's Symphony studio starts with an "intuitive interview", which provides a "scent direction" through a series of questions eerily reminiscent of speed dating: favorite places, desserts, childhood memories, seasons, and even the fragrance you wore to your first prom, which defaults to "Cool Water" unless otherwise noted. Next, Morris has you sniff several unlabeled scents, giving a simple "yes/no/maybe" until he forms a solid blend of "top note" (scent when you first spray: e.g., lime, bergamot), then middle (heart of the fragrance: cut grass, gardenia) and base notes (the scent's foundation: Russian leather, vanilla, musk), which he blends in a beaker, then presents to you in both 1/4oz travel and 2oz spray bottles adorned with your very own name, so everyone can know the enchanting scent of Steve!

Neil's also got 50+ of his finest "vault" fragrances for sale online, including the "Finnish fir tree and warm fire"-scented Dark Season, Hippie (blood orange, sage, dark musk, sandalwood, myrrh, and "of course", patchouli) and the forward-thinking Hologram, all preferable to the P. Diddy Unforgivable that can't stop, won't stop peeling the paint off your Sea-Doo.

Add this to My Thrillist

Also, not a bad gifting idea for a lady friend! Digitally inhale all the scents at NeilMorrisFragrances.com