Vans have long been associated with suspect activity, though they should have expected that impact on the brand when they drafted ICP to headline the Warped Tour. Juggalos be craaaazy! Documenting prime examples of the shadiest vehicles on the street: Suspicious Van.
A carefully curated collection of four-wheeled creepiness, SV's mission is "finding them, documenting them, and in an odd way, cherishing them -- before they show up on Nancy Grace", though anyone who finds themselves on her has suspicious taste (note: to be clear, do NOT sleep with Nancy Grace). Some top entries:
The Moral Conflict Van: A brown extended-cab Baptist church whip with the requisite "Jesus Is Lord" message painted on the back, conspicuously captured in an adult bookstore parking lot, though it's possible they were just looking to fill some missionary positions.
Dead Baby Float Fan: A paint-chipped maroon number with a window view to a pile of what appear to be life-size child dolls stacked in the back, suggesting somebody is putting baby in the corner…of a creepy-ass van.
Whorticulture Van: Colorfully decked out with a combination of cannabis and scantily clad females, bringing new meaning to the term "high-class prostitute".
The best of the best get plucked for the Hall of Fame, including a rusted-out, clown-ified ice cream truck, which, though not technically a van, definitely belongs to an Insane, Warped individual.
Published: July 26, 2011 at 4:00am EDT
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