Sober Scooters Can still have fun!

Not to be confused with Sober Scooter, the geeky muppet who no longer drinks after an awkward incident with Skeeter, Sober Scooters is a launching-today driving service from a pair of Iraq war vets who've gone all civilian to run daily rescue missions for not-entirely irresponsible party goers and their wheels, on 64lb, foldable Di Blasi scooters that can be loaded right into your trunk.

It works like this: if you've had a few too many Zimas at your buddy's limbo party, give 'em a ring and a heroic soul will mount said scooter, zip to your location, load it in your trunk, get behind the wheel, and then say something like “check it out, dude, I'm driving a scooter in a car” so you spend the whole ride home silently trying to figure out what does that mean?!?! The fare runs through the 4th of July, so you've only got two more weeks to get your face painted like a kitty! $2/mi in addition to an initial pick-up fee, but folks who pony up a one-time membership charge of $10 (always free for military personnel) will snag savings on every ride and can take advantage of bonus services like chauffeuring or even have their car dropped at home without them in it.

If you're stressed about letting someone else drive your newly refurbished Neon, don't be, as they have a million-dollar insurance policy designed to assuage your fear no matter what kind of awkward incident occurs.