Chicago

This e-shop hawks tees festooned with every single El stop logo, cufflinks made from old-school CTA tokens, retro canvas messenger bags, and a vintage "Use Rapid Transit" tee in four colorways that proclaims "12 Minutes To The Loop" -- so not only will you be living a lie, you'll be wearing one too!

This e-vintage shop's just released a new accessories line from Japanese artist "Ken The Flattop", highlighted by a stainless snap-closure businesscard case rocking a winged heart atop a surfboard, and the "Popped Eye Goldfish" cigarette case, which safely stashes a half-pack of smokes, ensuring you will one day gasp futilely for air.

Hung up in the Old Town Ale House and painted by a co-owner, this cartoonish 4ft oil has the VP candidate standing atop a polar-bear-skin rug wearing only red high heels, glasses, and a machine gun. Thanks to the artist's generosity, the mountaintops in the background are matched by the mountaintops in the foreground.

1909 N Lincoln Ave, at N Lincoln Park West; Lincoln Park; 312.376.1860

Under a pizza parlor in the former Katacombs space, this late-night hang is decked out in rock finery (black walls covered w/ lyrics from tunes like "Rebel Yell", lime-green faux snakeskin barstools, retrofitted drum cocktail tables), serves up cheap PBR, Schlitz, and Stroh's, plus frozen shot glasses of Jager and whiskey, and will play only rock music: 70s-contemporary, from a 20k+ song iPod -- what's more rock than legally downloaded music?

1573 N Milwaukee Ave, at N Damen; Wicker Park; no phone

Through December, this temporary store's slinging apparel (graphic tees, hoodies, caps), cartooned prints, and ltd-edition vinyl toys like a wine-glass-holding El Chupacabra and a black rabbit bound in a Lecter-esque straight jacket & muzzle with "Hello I'm Insane" painted on its head -- which'll reflect nicely on your adult habit of buying expensive dolls.