Chicago

Provided you're not unsalvageably ugly, dressing crisply can attract women, but it can also attract snide comments from men who insist you're out to attract not-women. Silence them with a touch of menace, with Wrath Arcane.

Midwestern sons who go by the motto "Big Labels Are F**ked", Wrath's fall line of stylishly understated duds coyly hint at badassness, both by drawing on specific military & political history, and by incorporating (on many pieces) a signature harness construction that gives off the illusion the wearer's shoulder-strapping heat (they also sub in Vs for vowels in piece titles, so break yourself). Prime outerwear includes the double-breasted wool "Nvrth Vne" (named for North's Civil War victory); the 4 patch-pocketed, belted-trench "Cvstro", inspired by a vintage photo of the dictator; and the water-repellent, 100% Japanese cotton "Raglan Blvzer," whose three-piece diagonal sleeve was first crafted to minimize the armlessness of British Waterloo vet 1st Baron Raglan. Other standouts are the double-harnessed "Sym" buttondown, the "Hvstory Woven" flannel shirt w/ snap button closures (gives off a sophisticated East LA "ese" vibe), and the "Assvm Pvllover," with an asymmetrical neckline and a Grim Reaper hood, signaling the arrival of certain dvvth.

More toned down action includes the slim-fit "Drvss Shvrt" and the "Bvnker Pvnt", dress pants made from 100% poly-rayon -- so you'll stay wrinkle free as you sit on your couch, proving everyone wrong by watching Red Dawn alone.