Chicago

From vaunted Chi artist Phineas X. Jones, these ltd-edition silkscreen original prints pay homage to elephants, octopi, and odder life forms, like the skeletal “Squidleton”, and bare-breasted Siamese twins joined at the genital region, a design that, much like Blagojevich and straight cash, was inspired by “meditations on hopeless entanglements”.

Opening Thurs at 111 W Jackson Blvd, between LaSalle and Clark; South Loop; 312.663.4600

NYC's tony, members-only grooming mecca's first Chi outpost is offering up haircuts in 12 plush leather club chairs, private room massages, hot towel treatments in vintage barber chairs, a four-chair shoe shine stand, and a lounge replete with stocked bar, 60in flatscreen, pro billiards table, and a chess setup -- in other words, you'll be rooking good.

8pm Mon at Angels & Kings: 710 N Clark St, between Superior and Huron; River North; 312.482.8600

This free throwdown features a burlesque show, DJ sets, and three hours of gratis Drambuie cocktails, including a prosecco-addled number called the Chambuie, and the Rusty Nail, which is what you'll feel like after one too many Chambuies.

'Til Sun at 1531 N Milwaukee Ave, between Damen and Honore; Wicker Park; 773.486.7159

This streetwear emporium's taking 25% off all merch, from Jordan kicks, to Rogue Status hoodies, to Scumlife tees; they've also got 2-for-1's on select fitted caps (Jordan Brand, Reebok, etc) and tees, including their in-house brand, Stussy, and Black Lightning -- possibly named for the 1970s African American superhero, who despite his abilities was no Chocolate Thunder.

A Chi grad student by day who got into stripping thanks to a coke dealer boyfriend, this blog offers ruminations on a 1.5 year unintended career, including romantic failures ("I really need to not get involved with men who have girlfriends and are on the verge of moving in with them"), and successes (to a Northwestern neurosurgeon: "(I said), 'You keep on staring at my face. You're looking at the wrong place'. Then I get up, turn around, and let him stare at my ass”. Yay!).