Chicago

From a Chi-based design company, every card in this deck features oddly cool artistic renderings, from a fox-headed Queen of Clubs, to a caballero-ninja King of Hearts, to some bearded dude in a cap holding a cup of booze and a revolver, called the “Lawless King of Diamonds” because calling him "the keyboardist from Night Ranger" would bring on a copyright suit.

1530 S State St, between 15th and 16th; South Loop; 312.842.4444

Sporting warmly So-Euro decor (colorful mosaics balanced against brown leather booths), the 150-seat sister resto to the vaunted 'burb joint boasts 50 Spanish wines, housemade sangria, four paellas, and a robust menu of tapas hot (grilled chorizo and morcilla sausage, bacon-wrapped roasted dates) and cold, including tuna-stuffed cannelloni, and Serrano ham-wrapped baby greens -- if only your parents'd loved you that much when you were a baby.

At Stitch: 1723 N Damen Ave, at St. Paul; Bucktown; 773.782.1570

Available in black or white powder, these modern takes on early 19th Century Austrian carriage clocks feature a die-cast zinc base (w/ analog hour/minute/second hands) and a dome covering of mouth-blown glass -- though true mouth-blown glass aficionados could care less about "time", bro.

11am-11pm Sat at 2934 N Sheffield Ave, at Oakdale; Lakeview; 773.770.0700

This dark-wooded sports den's throwing a wistful warm weather bash in its outside beer garden, featuring two hot tubs, $2 Coronas, and a raffle for a Mexican vacay for two -- after exposing your 20-beer gut and 20-degree dong, you'll wanna get away.

Back in the 80s, this South Side grocery chain commanded customers to "Give me a wave if you like that fish/Jump up if it's your favorite dish!". Put your ear to the ground, and you can still hear the vibrations.