The Meatloaf Bakery

With its endless variety of pies, cakes, and tarts, the bakery is a wonderland of delicious possibility, undermined only by the fact that none of its goods are made of meat. Baking up some protein, The Meatloaf Bakery.

Hatched by a 25-yr corporate communications vet, Loaf's a four-seat takeout nook serving a motley armada of gussied up meatloaves, showcased in a pastry case, and formed in the shape of cupcakes, tarts, cakes, bread loaves, bite-sized "loafies", and pies that'd make mincemeat outta mincemeat. Standouts include the traditional beef-pork-veal "Mother Loaf", crowned w/ Yukon Gold mashed potatoes; the ground beef & Italian sausage "Loaf-A-Roma" (w/ mozz, sun-dried tomatoes, red wine, topped with angel hair); the beef, bacon, cheddar, onions, pickles, ketchup, and mustard "No Buns About It Burger", piped with three-cheese taters; and a chorizo/pork/hot pepper/green olive/garlic spud number called "El Loafo Del Fuego" -- sure to become Aaron Gray's next nickname. Meat-ternatives run from the "Herby Turkey", topped w/ stuffing and cranberry sauce, to the wild Alaskan salmon "Omega-3" (w/ wasabi mashers), to the ground chicken/celery/hot sauce/blue cheese-crusted "A Wing And A Prayer", which ties in neatly with your cardiologist's prognosis.

Because man cannot live on loaf alone, there are also sides, the fatteningest being the "MACnificent Pasta", bulked up with four cheeses and panko breadcrumbs -- which is great, but can we talk about getting some meat in that?