San Francisco

When a film's adapted for stage, man's natural inclination is to run in the opposite direction -- even if you do feel pretty Hakuna Matata waiting in a giant intermission bathroom line. Turn around, man: SF Indie's Another Hole in the Head festival.

Started in '04, AHITH's an annual gore-intense filmfest showcasing some of the most deliciously creepy, low-budge horror n' sci-fi movies of all time, but what makes this year's the best ever is the addition of two "slasher flick meets Gallagher" stage adaptations of Dead Alive and Conan The Barbarian. Both shows are put on by the madcap troupe Primitive Screwhead and promise crowd interaction; for Peter Jackson's hormedy, they're planning to soak the entire theater in blood, while the 1940s radio-style Conan parody'll have decapitations and Arnold one-liners galore -- a good start, but good luck finding a dude as hot as Grace Jones. AHITH's also screening 20 features and 14 shorts, and while they're all absurd/legit, highlights include Audi The Wolf (the tale of a werewolf who means well but can't stop humping/killing people), The Future of F*cking (In 2035, "even though sex is voice activated, orgasms are still earned the old fashion way -- with machines"), and booze n' coke fueled Frat House Massacre, a spot-on portrayal of rush before Dean Haverty got all lame and strict.

The Fest hits full swing this Sat night at CellSpace, where a full bar-having "Mid-Summer Night's Roller Disco" will go down. It's $10 to get in, $5 if you come in (loosely defined) costume, and free w/ any AHITH ticket stub -- fulfilling another of man's natural inclinations: not paying.