Years ago, a Dallas guy's dad perfected this all-natural, plum tomato-based, red wine vinegar-spiked puree; so many pals raved about the stuff that the son's now selling mild/med/hot styles with a label that reads "not responsible for obsession" -- kind of obvious, because the models in those commercials were clearly not salsa people.

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Look for it at Kroger/Walgreens/One Stop, or order it by the case at MateosSalsa.com