Follow the White Rabbit

Alice in Wonderland has inspired all sorts of wonderful derangement -- the Wachowski brothers flat-out admitted its influence on The Matrix, though in Alice, the overload of nonsense was funny. Proudly proclaiming "We're all a little mad here", Mad Tavern, opening Thursday in FND.

A 25ft wooden bar anchors a Wonderland theme that includes a 4ft pocket watch, a hidden white rabbit (hint: look up), and a fully set, upside-down table hanging from the ceiling, because even Lionel Richie's gotta eat. Booze gets a little crazy, with a 150-strong beer list stretching from Delirium Nocturnum to Jester King's full line, and Pepsi (!) martinis like the Jager/root beer vodka "Jabberwockytini" and -- for those looking to get thematically sauced before the wedding of Prince Harry and please-God-let-it-be-a-stripper -- the rum, vodka, gin, Cointreau & sweet/sour Mad Hatter. Snack heavily with European nachos (thick-cut tots covered in cheddar, Havarti, lamb, corned beef & bacon), gougeres (fried cheese puffs with pepperoni, Parm & Gruyere), and classic Scotch eggs, which stick to your belly far longer than off-brand eggs.

Mains run from Alice Pie (ground lamb, peas, carrots, masted potatoes, cheddar), to The Queen's Pasta Diablo, to their Deschutes Black Butte Porter gravy-covered Hatter's Bangers and Mash -- consume those sausages with bullet-time speed, and you'll convince women that you are not The One.