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Even in lean years, people compete over Christmas displays -- like your insane lights last winter totally blowing your neighbor's yard away, mainly because they so thoroughly illuminated its foreclosure sign. Spend less money on something more awesomely-awfully jolly: Skedouche.

Just dropping eight new designs, 'douche is a line of sometimes-clever, often-offensive, always-absurd X-mas sweaters founded by a Longmont-based, CU-schooled engineering grad who found department-store holi-sweaters lacking cheer, and generally not deserving of his hard-earned J.C. Pennies.

Among the new chest warmers:

Reindeer Threesome: A blue, snow-flaked joint with red and white stripes, this sweater's got Rudolph and his red nose as the meat in a reindeer sandwich, which'll absolutely sleigh with the grandparents

Fireplace with 3D Stockings: An ultra-gross number with a roaring fire and three working (and removable) stockings, whose wearing will make sure they're the only ones you get to remove

Excited Snowman: An extra-carrot'd Jack Frost "packing some serious heat down south", which he really ought to get checked out before he gets runny

If you like your sweaters literally flashy, pre-order the non-offensive "Lighted Santa with Reindeer" with actual, blue/white/red/gold LED lights that "flash continuously", just like your totally defeated neighbor who can't afford clothes.

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These things only get funnier...and weirder...at Skedouche.com. Makes a great gift!