Los Angeles

With the economy spiraling out of control, soon the only things stock markets will be good for will be funny photos of sad traders and...dancing! Evidence of the latter: Versus LA.

Versus is a gargantuan, 35,000sq-foot nightclub housed in the former Stock Exchange Building -- abandoned since 1985, now resurrected as a 6-bar, three-level ode to both capitalistic excess and shaking what your momma dividend'd you. The deal:

• Ground Floor: A 200-capacity room w/a ventilated smoking lounge and table-ringed concrete pools illuminated by floating tea lights -- so you'll never have to ask for a light, but you will have to ask for a towel.
• Main Floor: Just off the marble staircase behind original copper doors is a tiny mojito lounge. Beyond that the main room boasts 40ft ceilings, a 50ft bar, a bottle-service mezzanine, and an 8-speaker Martin Black Box sound system w/light setup and laser show -- just like the planetarium, minus hoping Principal Huntington doesn't know you're high.
• Third Floor: A swank, black-carpeted VIP suite w/ its own sound system overlooking the whole shebang. Unlimited bottle service is included with rental. Rental = enough cash to stock an apartment party with an entire Ralph's liquor aisle.

Opening week's got three parties RSVPable for Thrillisters: this Friday's get-out-the-vote bash with Travis McCoy and ?uestlove; next Thursday's trib-band blowout w/odes to Floyd, Zeppelin, and AC/DC; and an exclusive Oct 25 shindig featuring free food+drink and the musical stylings of Dave Navarro -- who despite the times is sitting pretty, because eyeliner's stock never drops.