If there's one thing you're definitely going to use to fight off the remainder of Summer, it's the Nerf Super Soaker Assault Bunker with optional shield and tactical port. WHAT NOW, SUMMER??? But if there's a second thing, it's probably Austin's favorite Mexican mineral water: Topo Chico. To celebrate the only sparkling water that you can order without sounding like a tool, we're giving away T-shirts and cases of the stuff if you tweet at us. Plus: for those thirsty for knowledge in addition to bubbles, we've compiled a list of 13 things you probably didn't know about the Little Mole (including who's serving it with booze!!).
1. It's amazing in Mexican cocktails. Josephine House and La Condesa both pour mean Topo Palomas. Chupacabra's got El Conquistador with Cruz Silver tequila and fresh lime. And newcomer Whisler's does the Mexicano: Dos Armadillos reposado, Cocchi Torino sweet vermouth, Aperol, Pierre Ferrand Dry Curacao, mole bitters, and an orange peel. But The Ranch Water at Ranch 616 might be the ultimate in Topo cocktail-dom: a super-strong margarita with Hornitos Reposado, Citronge, and lime juice that you temper with a full bottle of the Mole.
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2. It's amazing in non-Mexican cocktails. Mettle subs it for regular, non-awesome soda water in their East Side Collins (Tanqueray, lemon, lime, cucumber). The Blackheart uses it in their eponymous drink with bourbon and muddled cherries. And Bungalow intergrates it into a Screwdriver with their TopoTito.
3. Those bubbles are legendary. Way back in 1440, Moctezuma I Ilhuicamina was king of Tenochtitlan and the emperor of the Aztec people. He had a daughter with a terrible disease, and when doctors couldn't find a cure, a priest suggested the healing waters of a mystical spring in Northern Mexico. The spring poured forth from an inactive volcano shaped like a mole. The water saved the life of the young Aztec princess and generations of Mexicans started flocking to Cerro del Topo Chico in Nuevo Leon for the supposed healing powers of the water, leading the steward of the springs to start bottling and selling it.
4. It's pretty damn old. The drink has been for sale since 1895. In addition to mineral water, Topo was the first company to bottle Coca-Cola in Mexico (1926!), and only arrived in the states in the early '90s. It's currently available in 34 states (sucks to be you, New York!), and only the Northern half of Mexico.
5. It is tempting enough to nearly derail Charlie's trip to the chocolate factory. You've gotta burp. It's the only way.
6. Despite the fact that regular Mexican water
can damn near kill you will definitely kill you, Topo Chico is actually healthy. The mineral composition includes sodium (promotes good bowel function!), magnesium (helps with digestion, brain function, and creates a sense of calm), potassium (functioning of the heart, nervous system, kidneys), and manganese, which serves as an antioxidant.
7. Buzz-worthy potential. The Statesman suggests it as a complement to iced coffee concentrate, thus creating perhaps the world's first coffee soda.
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8. Topo is the official drink of the official DJ of the President of the United States of America. Austin's turntable laureate and Barack's go-to party-starter DJ Mel drinks it by the case and Instagrams it on a daily basis.
9. Holy crap watch this video immediately. Little-known fact: stick a bottle of Topo Chico in the freezer for a few hours, take it out, and it won't appear frozen. The minerals in the water keep it from crystalizing into a frozen state, until you pop off the cap and the rush of oxygen slowly turns the water to ice from top to bottom.
10. Crafty people like to make stuff out of it. Drinking glasses? Ashtrays? ...Earrings? A host of Etsy-ers have got you covered.
11. It's useful in an office environment. In the first episode of Season 9 of The Office, Brian Baumgartner drives over a turtle with his car and tries to repair it MacGyver-style using a Topo bottle cap.
12. It is terrifying to cute animals named after famous literary figures. Although the great Gatsby enjoyed a good dose of mineral water in a Gin Rickey cocktail, this Gatsby is not into it.
13. You can also mix it with juice and rum. Daily Juice has a few rum-filled suggestions for the juicing home mixologist: the Sparkle motion (juice of 1 crimson pear, 1/2 lemon, 1 thumb of ginger, 1 chunk of purple cabbage, plus Topo & rum) and the Mango Mojito (2oz mango, 1tsp coconut sugar, 1/2 lime, 4 mint leaves). WHAT NOW, OTHER COCKTAILS THAT DON'T HAVE TOPO IN THEM???