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Slice into the final season with these Dexter-themed cocktails

Showtime's Dexter is revving up for its final season of dismemberment, weird brother/sister sexual tension, deep V shirts, and dark passengers... and with the body count poised to skyrocket as high as your hopes for Batista to take off that stupid hat already, you're gonna need a drink. Lucky for you, we've enlisted our favorite Ice Truck Killer -- Patrick Soto of Portland's So Cold mobile shaved ice and cocktails truck -- to whip up a trinity of cocktails inspired by Miami's favorite serial killer.

The Dark Passenger
  • 1.5oz vodka
  • 1oz triple sec
  • .5oz lemon juice
  • Prosecco
  • 1 dash burnt orange bitters
  • Squid ink to color
While Dexter's narration goes on and on about controlling his "dark passenger", this recipe will have you going on and on about drinking a squid's ejaculatory defense liquid. Dump the vodka, triple sec, lemon juice, and a squirt of ink in a shaker of ice. Pour that black deliciousness in a champagne flute and top with Prosecco. Put in a dash of burnt orange bitters and huzzah! The fishy aromatics are as absent as Dex is to his kid.
Blood Slide Jello Shots
  • 1 cup coconut water
  • 6oz vodka
  • 1 cup simple syrup
  • 1tsp agar-agar
  • Fruit syrup
Inspired by the blood samples Dex takes from each victim, making these jello shots is easier than Deb after a few Coronas. Just boil the simple syrup & coconut water, then mix the agar-agar (which'll Jell-O-ize it) in until it's dissolved. Let the water cool, then dump in the vodka. Pour it into molds, and refrigerate 'em until solid. Finally, take a syringe (preferably not the one you found in the alley, even though it does look totally brand-new) and inject your favorite blood-colored syrup like strawberry or cherry. Or blood.
Dexter's Breakfast
  • 1oz gin
  • 1oz Cognac
  • 1 egg white
  • Juice of 1/2 grapefruit
  • Dash of Tapatio
  • 1 strip of candied bacon
Dex begins every day (well, every episode) with the same meticulously prepared breakfast, and just look how well that stabilizes him! Since he's a great role model, here's the liquid version: shake the booze, juice, and egg white over ice, then dump them into a martini glass. Throw in a couple dashes of Tapatio -- which actually retains a blood drop-like orb shape in liquid. Garnish it, as all things should be garnished, with a thick cut of candied bacon, and get ready for a great day of upstanding citizenry.

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