Everybody knows someone who just doesn't know how to take shots. So, as our #shotsfromlastnight crusade heats up like the sun of a planet that died because its sun was too hot, we thought it might be helpful to lay down some of the most common etiquette violations, in ascending order of severity. Let us know if you agree with the order, or have any to add, then spread the list around, and help save America from bad shot-taking.
11. Slamming your glass on the table like you just completed the ultimate test and now you're King of Shot Mountain
You are not the King of Shot Mountain.
10. Making a big deal out of the looking everyone in the eye thing
What if you're with 10 other people? You're going to look into 20 different eyeballs before taking a shot? Just accept that you're doomed to have bad sex anyway, and get on with it.
9. Clumsily spilling half your shot
If someone bought you dinner would you clumsily dump half the linguine on the floor?
8. Making that "I'm gearing up to eat grub worms on Fear Factor" face
As Joe Rogan would say, if you don't enjoy doing shots, why are you not at yoga?
7. Leaving someone out of the shot circle
To complete the humiliation, make sure to not invite him to your birthday party.
6. Asking for a different shot
You'll get nothing and like it.
5. Sipping on your shot
Right around now your palate should be detecting notes of hurry the f*ck up.
4. Not finishing your shot
It's 1-2 ounces. That's like not finishing the 10-yard dash.
3. Refusing your shot
People have been shot for less.
2. Covertly asking someone else if they'll do your shot for you
There's no worse aftertaste than another man's cowardice.
1. Slyly spilling the shot on purpose and pretending like you took it
Whew, nobody noticed, EXCEPT GOD.