Your guests will never accuse you of being cheap with the refreshments again once you serve them one of these insanely-priced liquors -- they just might be a tad resentful that they all have to split the same eyedropper. Kiss your savings, retirement, and livelihood goodbye with this rundown of extortionate libations.
10. Cognac from vintage 1811 – starting from $7,894.88
The 1811 cognacs are also known as the “comet vintage”, since the Great Comet was up in the sky for 260 days out of that year. A lot of superstitious people think the comet is what made the cognac so good, which is why you’ll have to sacrifice a few paychecks for a bottle. For a cheaper alternative, look for booze bottled during the Substantially Less Impressive Comet.
9. Whisky Linkwood-Glenlivet, vintage 1898 - $19,012.16
Brandies may dominate the expensive alcohol market, but don’t go thinking that $200 for Johnnie Walker Blue is the most you can shell out for whiskey. This vintage comes in a one-of-a kind bottle, and was born right as the Linkwood-Glenlivet company was founded. It’s the priciest taste of Scotland you can find, right after Loch Ness Monster haggis. (Sorry, that’s everything we know about Scotland.)
8. Cognac Hennessy Silver Jubilee - $19,334.40
Only 60 bottles were ever made, created to mark the Queen of England’s Silver Jubilee in 1977. It’s a blend of at least one-hundred-year-old cognacs, so don’t dismiss it as a n00b. Instead, sip it knowing you’re enjoying a beverage endorsed by both Queen Elizabeth II and Tupac.
7. Cognac A.E. DOR Soleil d'Austerlitz, vintage 1805 - $28,822.58
What this booze lacks in notoriety, it makes up for in being damn near impossible to find. Only three bottles of this cognac were ever sold -- the owner of A.E. DOR kept a bottle for himself and gave the rest to the French president, because he hates America.
6. Cognac Courvoisier Erté Collection 1 to 8 - $28,840.48
The bottles for this blend of Grande Champagne cognacs were designed by Russian deco-artist Erté, each featuring a different part of the production process. Only 12,000 bottles of numbers 1 through 7 were made, and only 4,000 units of number 8 were released, to commemorate the death of Erté in 1990. Still, some flowers would have been nice.
5. Cognac Rémy Martin Louis XIII Age Inconnu, vintage 1938 - $68,476
This cognac is an insane blend of 1,200 (yes, really) brandies and was sold at an auction in 2011 for over $70,000. Queen Elizabeth and King George VI got a special edition of it in 1938, then exchanged randy nude pics via their iScepters.
4. Cognac Croizet, vintage 1842 - $100,700
This guy is possibly the most expensive 70 cl bottle of cognac in the world, and with good reason. It was aged for over 140 years and made for a special event, as indicated by its unique bottle and label. So really, who needs a home you can’t drink?
3. Cognac Courvoisier & Curlier, vintage 1789 - $153,064
Recently unearthed in the cellars of a very real man named Bay van der Bunt, this cognac is the oldest Courvoisier & Curlier there is. And, consequently, one of the rarest. In fact, it’s so rare -- how rare is it? -- not even Courvoisier & Curlier have any. (Seriously, they don’t. You can bid on it at Harrods in London instead.)
2. Wine Chateau d’Yquem, vintage 1787 - $191,732.80
All you wine snobs who are too good for boxed merlot, boy, has Chateau d’Yquem got something for you. This winery is kind of a big deal in the sweet white dessert wine world, evidenced in 2011 when an 1811 vintage nabbed $121,185 at auction. This bottle from 1787 comes with a heftier price tag, though really, when you’re willing to spend that much on dessert wine, what’s another $70k?
1. Cognac Brugerolle, vintage 1795 - $222,345.60
This enormous six-liter cognac was popular with French revolutionary officers back in the day -- so much so that whenever a field battle was won (or even lost), the troops would get lit on these brandies. The world’s supply is now down to a single bottle, because, just like the Highlander, there can only be one.