Apparently, vodka-soaked gummy bears are a thing. But are they the thing? To find out, we soaked seven different gummies in vodka for TWENTY FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT, invited three cute lady food writers -- Allie Pape from Eater, Lauren Sloss from Serious Eats, and Andrea Kasprzak from DailyCandy -- to eat them, and then recorded their thoughts and had them rate them worst-to-best. The results…
7. Haribo Happy-Cola Bottles
Allie: [Three seconds after spitting them into a trash can filled with Luna Bar wrappers... We have no idea how those got there!] The first couple of chews it's good, then it gets weirdly bitter in a weirdly bad way.
Lauren: It tastes like a thimble of Coke and a huge thing of vodka. It turns probably okay vodka into plastic bottle vodka. No wonder high schoolers like this.
Andrea: I kind of just want to take more, and swallow them, and see what happens.
Lauren: I'll tell you what happens. Bad things.
6. Gummy Bears
Andrea: I couldn't taste anything but vodka, but I could really taste vodka.
Lauren: It doesn't just taste like vodka, it's like vodka cut with cough syrup. I was once at a party in college, and my friend poured all these alcohols together in one cup. It kind of tastes like that.
5. Disney Princess Fruit Snacks
Lauren: I'm so nervous.
Andrea: The fact that they're Disney originally drew me to them. Now...
Allie: That's actually... not... terrible?
Lauren: Pink is okay. The blue tastes medicinal.
Thrillist: You know you only have to try one, right?
4. Sour Patch Kids
Lauren: They seriously look like Easter Island figurines. The texture is worse than the Swedish Fish. The flavor is worse than Dots. That's not the best combination right there.
Allie: I'm gonna try another one, you know, for science.
3. Welch's Fruit Snacks
Allie: [Before eating one] They've preserved their fruit shapes. And they're made with real juice, so maybe that's promising. [After eating one] Oh no. OH NO. I take back my previous comment.
Lauren: The texture is pretty good. They're mushy, but not terrible. I could eat another one.
Allie: Not bad. They really just taste like wet Dots. So… that's not bad. Yellow kind of tastes like Pine-Sol. So maybe wet Dots covered in Pine-Sol... I don't think that's selling it.
Lauren: Lime also tastes like a cleaning product. I just stood up, I'm definitely ummm… Whoa.
Andrea: Orange is not good.
1. Swedish Fish
Andrea: It's so big!
Allie: The texture is a little gross, but taste was fine. It's not too chewy. You just need to penetrate the inner sanctum, and then you're good. Yep, I said sanctum.
Lauren: I would eat a box of those compared to the Coke bottles and the Gummy Bears... and then I would vomit.